Give me a break

Late last night I closed up shop.

Put Cora's blog to private, turned off her Facebook page and started crying my eyes out.

I'm spinning. The report set me off. I'm not okay. I need some time with my husband, and my husband alone. Financially, don't know if we can swing it, but am hoping to physically get away with a change of scenery. But even if we stay here in dark depressing Indiana, mentally, I need to leave a bit.

My daughter, who I thought was perfectly healthy died suddenly in my arms of a condition I'd never even heard of, and I've since learned that we aren't doing everything medically we can for these children. I'm learning much works needs to be done.

I'm having trouble with that. Lots of and lots and lots of trouble.

I woke up to a flood of emails that made me feel so bad. People thought I'd indvidually blocked them. Absolutely not. I just need to go somewhere else for awhile. If we can't physically go away, maybe I'll take some time to lie in bed and feel bad for myself, I deserve it.

I cried like I've never cried before. I wailed most of the day. Only words for it. And, I might just keep wailing for a few days.

I'm putting up the blog and Facebook page just so people don't think I blocked them. I love you all. Very much. You drive me. But, I'm a mess. An absolute mess.

My baby, I thought was perfectly healthy died in my arms.  Imagine experiencing the happiest moment in your life and the saddest all in a span of seconds. I think it's the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone.That's no pity party. It's just the facts.

If you have time and you are able to help, here's how you can: keep spreading her story. Help us save lives. 

Look at her picture and feel the compassion and beauty and spread it in your daily life.

Lots of love,
Kristine


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