Dear Cora: Memorial.

Dear Cora,

Happy Birthday sweetheart! Six months. Mama really can't believe it.

Most months, I peek to see what you'd be doing, but this month, I can't. I imagine you'd be getting close to crawling, right? Or is that too soon? You're mama's first baby so I'm not sure.

We're moving. Away from the town where you lived. Packing up all of your stuff has been difficult. I don't really want to take the diaper rash creme that's half open, but can't imagine just throwing it away. And, I didn't have time to go through everything. I've been giving a lot of your things away as I see a need, to really help another mom and baby, and I want to take my time with it.

One of the "what do I do with..." things that came up were the dried flowers from the funeral. They kind of just dried on their own. We stuck them in there after you died and just left them and the fresh flowers just dried on their own.

I knew it was time after six months to make a decision about what to do with them. Daddy had the good idea to put them on my daddy's grave. We'd been meaning to do it for a few days. How fitting that today, on your six month birthday, I remembered them and we had a few moments to take them to the cemetery. It's Memorial Day weekend, so the cemetery was beautiful in a lot of ways, but also sad. Sad beautiful. You know?

You know about Wear Pink For Cora, right? People remember you, spread congenital heart defect awareness, wear pink, and spread love and compassion on the 30th of the month, all in your name.

This month, we're moving as I mentioned. I had to steal time just to write this blog post so we didn't get to plan something for your actual birthday. Next week sometime, we're going to drop off some items for the mommas and babies at the hospital you were born.

I still wanted to remember you today. Still wanted to do something good. I decided to let my good deed just come to me. And, in the cemetary it did. Cora, some of those tombstones were just covered in grass and it made me sad. So, I sat under the baking Indiana sun and took time to wipe down some of them with my hands. I did so with the same love that I wiped your grandpa's tombstone free of grass and dirt.

I read about the people. A police officer killed in the line of duty. A World War II veteran. Another baby. I imagined all the families hurting.

You've made me so empathetic. I walk in so many shoes now.

Love,
Mom

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