The Stranger Is Me

I came across this picture tonight while working on a project. I could remember that day.

It was the day of my baby shower in November 2009, just a few weeks before Cora was born. I remembered how I'd unwrapped everything with care, and how excited I was to meet Cora.

I remember my worries and thoughts from then, and that girl, me, seems like a different person.

She might look the same. Same glasses. I still smile the same, when the smiles come, but so much of this person I don't recognize.

This lady, me, knows pain and loss. Her father died when she was young. But, she doesn't know what it's like to lose part of your soul. She hasn't been through the pain that I have.

She's pretty lucky, actually. All of her prenatal appointments went so well, and she's not had to spend her pregnancy in worry.

She's much more superficial, worried that her baby has every "thing" she needs. She doesn't realize all her baby really needs is someone to check her heart.

This woman is me, but she's also a stranger. I wonder if we would get along should we meet. Of course, that's impossible. But, I do feel like a different person. Finding this picture tonight confirmed it.

I was reborn. The day Cora died, I was reborn.